Today

Today would have been our 34th wedding anniversay. Today is full of memories, some happy some sad. So today "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious-the best, not the worst;the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise,not things to curse." The Message

I believe I'll run on, see what the ends gon be.

A Lesson From a Coffee Pot

V. Charlene Christmon: A Lesson from a Coffee Pot.

This blessed me this morning ya’ll. It is funny because i actually originally wrote this about 3 years ago, but it is amazing how RIGHT NOW in this season of my life it applies as much if not more than it did back then. Talk about a fresh start!

Well I went in to make coffee (as I do every morning) I started the coffee brewing and then went and sat down to start work. Not even 10 minutes later something told me to get up and go and check on the coffee. To my surprise, when I went in the kitchen, the coffee pot was boiling over and there was ground coffee spilling out the sides…. This happened b/c when putting the pot back in the coffee maker I did not put it in all of the way, so the coffee had no where to go so it backfired.

At first I was frustrated and immediately said “UH is this how this day is gonna be!! “ But that is when God started speaking to me! It was SOOO CRAZY. The first thing he said was clean it up and start again. As I began to clean up the mess God continued to teach. First he said.. Today is the day that we redo what we did not do right the first time. He pointed out that making the coffee is a lot like my life and the things that God is trying to do. When you make coffee all you have to do is possess the ingredients, put them in the maker, place the pot in POSITION and wait… the machine will do the rest! It is like the coffee ingredients are the innate things in us that we already posess, our strengths, talents, etc. The pot represents your self, in this case Me. and the Maker of course is God.

It is like, you can posses all of the ingredients, but if aren’t in position, even when the Maker/God tries to create something there is no where for it to go and you end up with a mess. It was also interesting to me that God pointed out to me the hole at the top of the coffee pot… there is an exact position that the pot must be in in order for the coffee to go through, it cannot be to far left, to far right or to far back… What is most interesting to me is that God seemed to show me that my problem was not going left or right of the correct position, but not putting the pot all the way in.. as if to say I have still not fully committed myself to the position he is trying to place me in! THAT BLEW MY MIND!!!

The funny thing is that I got in the room in time to clean up the mess, start again and still have coffee before anyone noticed the difference… It’s like God was giving me the heads up, and then showing me how to clean it up and start fresh the right way. I don’t know, it is funny, b/c when the guys came in today they saw nothing of the mess that was made the first time around, all they saw was the end result. A BOMB cup of coffee!! LOL I heard God telling me that when he does this thing for real, it will not matter about the first go round / the mess or the false starts.. All people will see and all that matters is the end result, an untainted, BOMB

A Long Time

Make a Mess, Discover Your Life By Anne Lamott
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.
Besides, perfectionism will block inventiveness and playfulness and life force (these are words we are allowed to use in California). Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived. Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground—you can still discover new treasures under all those piles, clean things up, fix things, get a grip. Tidiness suggests that something is as good as it’s going to get. Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation.
When I was 21, I had my tonsils removed. I was one of those people who got strep throat every few minutes, and my doctor finally decided that I needed to have my tonsils taken out. For the entire week afterward, swallowing hurt so much that I could barely open my mouth for a straw. I had a prescription for painkillers, though, and when they ran out but the pain hadn’t, I called the nurse and said she would need to send another prescription over, and maybe a little mixed grill of drugs because I was also feeling somewhat anxious. But she wouldn’t.
I asked to speak to her supervisor. She told me her supervisor was at lunch and that I needed to buy some gum, of all things, and to chew it vigorously—the thought of which made me clutch at my throat. She explained that when we have a wound in our body, the nearby muscles cramp around it to protect it from any more violation and from infection, and that I would need to use these muscles if I wanted them to relax again. So finally my best friend Pammy went out and bought me some gum, and I began to chew it, with great hostility and skepticism. The first bites caused a ripping sensation in the back of my throat, but within minutes all the pain was gone, permanently.
I think that something similar happens with our psychic muscles. They cramp around our wounds—the pain from our childhood, the losses and disappointments of adulthood, the humiliations suffered in both—to keep us from getting hurt in the same place again, to keep foreign substances out. So those wounds never have a chance to heal. Perfectionism is one way our muscles cramp. In some cases we don’t even know that the wounds and the cramping are there, but both limit us. They keep us moving in tight, worried ways. They keep us standing back or backing away from life, keep us from experiencing life in a naked and immediate way.
So go ahead and make big scrawls and mistakes. Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend. What people somehow (inadvertently, I’m sure) forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here.
Anne Lamott is a writer of books and essays. This piece is an excerpt from her book, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.

In light of my struggle with perfectionism I needed this article. Thanks to inward / outward.

Glamorous Girls

I recently took a trip to Washington D.C. hosted by my friend Pat, we had a ball attending a glamorous girls conference, as well as visiting the monuments, White House, lunch at union station etc. Of course I got hurried along by the secret service for walking to slow in front of the White House , I'm sure I was a threat looking like a tourist, goes to show you what condition our country is in since 911.

Integrating Body, Mind and Spirit In Time

"Integrating Body, Mind and Spirit In Time" because of my personal challenges of working with the concept of time management and balancing the dimensions of being human. These days, it seems as if time has become more accelerated as we continue to cram 24 hours into this Gregorian calendar of time. Different cultures have respective measures of how they define time and how time is to be used. In our culture, our time has been centered on working 8 hour jobs (or more), racing towards each holiday to celebrate its meaning and being part of the constant "rush" of society's time-piece. Unfortunately, our society does not embrace the concept of integrating body, mind and spirit in our daily interactions or in synch with time. Finding the time to listen to God and to ourselves is an important component of this integration as spirit needs to be linked (anchored) to God. The body and mind can find solace in the midst of the storms and challenges if the spirit is "hooked up to the Source" regardless of where we may find ourselves. As I write this, I am in the midst of some trying moments but I do know that something is carrying me through these storms so that I can get through the course of each day. Morning prayer is a daily ritual to start the day to be better prepared and equipped than the day before to deal with whatever comes our way. We can rest assured that whatever comes our way, if we are in synch and connected to God and having body, mind and Spirit well integrated, God will manifest on time, in the nick of time, all the time. Even during the darkest moments, God is with us during this period as we navigate through the tests of time and our lives are deeply enriched as a result of surviving the challenges and tests. Time as we know it is a construction of man but time as God's measurement defines another whole level of how we are being perfected in this lifetime to do the work we are called upon to do.

Teresa

Thankful

What am i thankful for? what are you thankful for? I am thankful to have Christ in my life through my journey of challenges that life brings. I am thankful for family, friends, relationships and resources. I am thankful for friends who were sensitive to pray and stand in the gap when i could not. I am thankful for music that soothes my soul, expresses my pain, brings joy and gratefulness. I am thankful to you for reading this blog and having input. I am thankful for moving a head exploring destiny and purpose, newness of life. I am thankful that He will never leave or forsake me, He is a very present help in trouble,trust me I have had my share. I am thankful for wonderful, supportive children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren. i am thankful that i have life and have life more abundantly. I am thankful for the blessing of God, I am thankful that i am healed and have provision. I am thankful for the years i had with Skip and the wonderful memories. So with all that said i can never thank Him enough! Has anyone read The Shack?

Facing the Mourning

My beloved husband Skip was diagnosed with bone cancer November 2006, he died march 17, 2007, we were married 30 years. it has been a difficult journey. I needed help facing the mourning, so I joined, Facing the Mourning, a 4-week interactive support group designed to help with the grieving process, it was very helpful in my journey. grief is intense painful and complex, i thought i was loosing my mind, i think i did in reality. before i read Joan Didion's book, The Year of Magical Thinking, i thought i saw a fleeting shadow, a door closing, Skip sitting in his chair, thinking, "what was that"? or, who was that? wondering was that Skip or his spirit, do spirits really exist, then someone, well meaning of course,tells me, his spirit is in the house. At this point in the grieving process i believe i am at a turning point, getting past the deep depression, shock, bargaining, and despair. I am beginning to accept Skip is gone, not coming back, remembering, this is an emotional journey (draining) not just intellectual, trying to figure it out, and it sometimes takes our hearts longer to accept the loss then our heads, especially my head. I am learning to give myself some grace. I still vacillate from time to time and that's okay! My heart still aches but it is tolerable, I am thinking more of the good times we had and the wonderful person Skip was, his smile, his sense of humor and his love for his family and friends. I can not begin to tell you of the love and support we have had from family and friends,(still do) especially our Tuesday night group. I will be sharing more of my journey and the challenges of finding out who I am without my spouse. Many of you are in my thoughts and prayers, especially my friend who just lost her father.

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? the deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been you delight.

Of Joy and Sorrow
Kahil Gibran

Stop and Rest

Rest is a discipline for me. Stop for me is huge. So, the article below sparked a discussion. How do we stop, or do we? Is rest a state of comfort? Any comments on the article below?

Stop. Now.
Wayne Muller
There is astounding wisdom in the traditional Jewish Sabbath, that it begins precisely at sundown, whether that comes at a wintry 4:30 or late on a summer evening. Sabbath is not dependent upon our readiness to stop. We do not stop when we are finished. We do not stop when we complete our phone calls, finish our project, get through this stack of messages or get out this report that is due tomorrow. We stop because it is time to stop....The old, wise Sabbath says: Stop now. As the sun touches the horizon, take the hand off the plow, put down the phone, let the pen rest on the paper, turn off the computer, leave the mop in the bucket and the car in the drive. There is no room for negotiation, no time to be seduced by the urgency of our responsibilities. We stop because there are forces larger than we that take care of the universe. The galaxy will somehow manage without us for this hour, this day, so we are invited to relax and enjoy our relative unimportance, our humble place at the table in a very large world.